Coming back. again.
Seems like my annual post at this point. HELLOOO!
Ups. Downs. Big ones. Harsh and extraordinary. Unbelievable patterns. Maximal self-care, no spas detected. Let's go.
I moved to California
One dream came true since early 2025. We left a state that's losing people and joined a state that's losing a lot of people. I've always wanted to live in California, but the opportunity and the path didn't become clear until 2025. We had many reasons to reconsider where we lived. (Neighbor issues, schools, degrading professional and personal networks, weather, and then some.) When it came time to take a good look at a change of scenery, we took the chance to think as broadly as possible. We went to (very-) Northern California after a trip to the Oregon Coast in 2023 that changed the culture of our family. We traded vast vistas, sunny skies, and blistering summers for thousand-year-old trees, seafood, and the Pacific Ocean. This was absolutely a tremendous choice for our family - and we spent 3 days in August of 2025 driving here with our two dogs. For many, and even for us, the Pacific Coast has a pipe-dream quality. It's a difficult place to move to with under-developed industries, remote towns; unless you're going to pay to be squeezed into a tiny place in a huge city, which was never the plan for us. Lucky for us, physicians are sought-after in this region and the part that stops most people came nowhere close to stopping us. The kids are happy, the scenery is amazing, and I had the best summer of my entire life this year.
I lost my birth family
I stopped posting online after becoming aware that my birth family had been getting around blocks to see the images I shared. They were blocked after I asked them to behave better toward me and our family, and they pretty much refused. They were going to sue me for doing this, until they learned that the law had zero provision for this. They even moved to New Mexico to set this up. (Another great reason to get out of there.) This, after growing up in a house where I didn't stop getting spanked until I hit back. Getting surprise yelled-at whenever and especially with alcohol. Being forced to handle their undergarments and being intermittently humiliated even behind my back. I didn't have any illusions that standing up for myself would yield an ideal result, but even the worst result was going to stabilize my family life and cut me off from my lifetime antagonists. The worst result is what I got. Without the ability to drag me through their paces, they took the stories they had and used them to disintegrate as many of my other family relationships as they could possibly reach. I was ghosted by most of my birth family who never came to get my side of the story. It's ok. In the process, I learned that they were people who would just take whatever they heard from my jilted parents for granted, and would dump me at their word. My husband and children are better off not being pulled into a dynamic like this, and I am much healthier without the stress. But there's nothing fun about losing people who said they loved you, even if they lied.
I beat Anemia
At some point after 2022, maybe after I had COVID - no idea - my menses started to go a bit crazy. I spent 2-3 years seeing if perimenopause would offer any relief, and no, it did not. I had a hysterectomy that the doctor described in surprising ways - my uterus was the size of two large grapefruits - hard and calcified. With enhanced blood supply - blood I was losing. Ironic because in my spiritual work, I had been hoping to connect with my female line ancestors - and boy howdy did I learn maybe how a lack of care could have completely sacked their lives. Even with all the nutritional and behavioral intervention I took on to stave off Anemia (and Pain.. my gosh.) it got worse and worse. I didn't just lose my energy. I lost focus. I lost restoration. I felt it again - the feeling of slowly dying. I could think of a hundred things I needed to do, but not be able to move on a single one without getting overwhelmed. It felt a lot like worsening ADHD or aging - but most people experiencing that aren't hemorrhaging monthly, with their own proper blood supply. For more details, there's my reddit post.
Now, I have some stitches that hurt, kinda. And sneezing is getting easier as I recover. I had a c-section, after all, of the baby-making device itself. And I'm finally skipping a period.
Well, I will beat Anemia. Today I feel energy coming back and it's so exciting! and refreshing!
And then, folks, I swear - I am going to paint again.